Saturday, January 2, 2010
Etiquette of Conversation
Adaab of Conversation
1. Always speak the truth. Never hesitate in speaking the truth even at the greatest risk.
2. Speak only when you must, and always talk with a purpose. Too much talk and useless conversation betrays a lack of seriousness. Your are accountable before Allah for every word you utter. The Angel of Allah records. "A supervisor remains vigilant to preserve on record every speech that is uttered by his tongue."
3. Always speak politely. Wear a smile on your face and a sweet tone in your speech. Always speak in a moderate voice. Do not keep your voice so low as to be inaudible to the addressee, nor raise it so loud that the addressee might be over-awed by your voice. Allah affirms: "Surely! the harshest of all the voices is the voice of the ass." [31 : 19]
4. Do not spoil your tongue with dirty talk. Do not speak ill of others. Never indulge in backbiting. Do not complain against others. Never indulge in mimicking others to ridicule them. Do not make false promises. Never laugh at others, nor boast of your own superiority or indulge in self praise. Never get unreasonable and rash in conversation. Do not pass remarks by a disgraceful name. Avoid swearing frequently.
5. Always say what is just and fair regardless of any loss of yourself, your friend or relative. "And when you say something, speak what is just even if you are talking about your relative."
6. Be soft-spoken, reasonable and sympathetic in your conversation. Do not utter sharp, harsh and teasing remarks.
7. When women happen to talk with men, they should speak in a clear, straight, and rough manner. They ought not speak in delicate, sweet tone lest the listener should entertain any foul expectation.
8. If the impudent with to entangle you in dialogue or altercation offer them 'Salaam' politely and leave them. Those who indulge in loose talk and absurd conversation are the worst lot of the Ummah.
9. Keep in view the mental level and outlook of them man you are talking to so as to make him understand. If the addressee cannot hear or is unable to catch your meaning, repeat what you have said before without any resentment.
10. Always be brief and to the point in your talk. It is unfair to prolong discussion without rhyme or reason.
11. When you wish to explain the tenets of Al-Islam want to speak on the teachings of Al-Islam be simple and clear and speak in a passionate and heart-warming style. To seek reputation through oratory, to try to impress people with flowery language, to seek popularity among people, to adopt a proud and haughty mein or to deliver speeches only for the sake of fun and recreation --all these are the worst habits that corrupt the man to the core of his heart.
12. Never indulge in flattery, or ingratiate with anybody. Always mind your honour and respect and avoid anything below your dignity.
13. Do not interrupt and interfere in others' conversation without their permission, nor intercept others conversation in order to say something yourself. If, however, you must speak, do so with the permission of the other.
14. Speak slowly in a proper and dignified manner. Do not speak in a hurried manner nor indulge in fun and jokes all the time as it degrades you in the eyes of others.
15. If somebody puts a question to you, listen carefully to him and make an answer after careful thought. It is simply foolish to answer the questions without due consideration. If the questions are being put to somebody else, do not be officious as to give answers yourself.
16. When someone is narrating something, do not say "we know already." May be he reveals something new and impresses you by his sincerity and piety.
17. When you talk to someone, give due regard to his age, status, and his relationship to you. Do not talk with your parents, teachers, and elders in a manner in which you would talk with your friends. Likewise, when you are talking to youngsters, speak with affection and elderly dignity.
18. While engaged in conversation, do not point out towards any one lest he should conceive any misunderstanding or suspicion. Abstain from eavesdropping on others.
19. Listen more and talk less. Do not reveal your secrets to others. Once you disclose a secret to someone, never expect it to remain a secret any more.