Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Marriage is a union of souls
Marriage is a union of souls, in the deepest sense. Allah (God) joins these two souls together so that they may enjoy tranquility and stability in a marital home filled with sincere love and compassionate mercy.
The Quran says,
"Among His Signs Is That He Created Companion (Partner,Spouse) For You From Among Yourself, So That You May Find Tranquility With Them, And (He) Set Love And Mercy Between You. Surely In This Are Signs For People Who Reflect" (30:21).
Al-Haafidh Ibn Katheer (d.774H) – rahimahullaah – said whilst explaining the terms muwaddah and rahmah which occur in the above aayah:
"Al-muwaddah means love and affection and ar-rahmah means compassion and pity – since a man takes a woman either due to his love for her, or because of compassion and pity for her; by giving to her a child from himself…"
[Tafseer Qur`aanil A’dtheem (3/439) of al-Haafidh Ibn Katheer.]
Prophet Muhammad (SAW) advice regarding the choice of a spouse
As the best of all leaders, the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) knew his community well and understood that there are very real considerations that must be taken into account when selecting a spouse. Therefore The most comprehensive advice given regarding the choice of a spouse is the teaching of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) who said, on the authority of Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him),
"A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious (pious) woman (otherwise) you will be losers." (Al-Bukhari, Book 62, hadith 27).
A Poor Pious Man is a Better Marriage Suitor than a Rich Man Who is Not Pious
Hadith - Bukhari 7.28, Narrated Sahl
A man passed by Allah's Apostle and Allah's Apostle asked (his companions) "What do you say about this (man)?"
They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand, he ought to be given her in marriage; and if he intercedes (for someone) his intercessor should be accepted; and if he speaks, he should be listened to." Allah's Apostle kept silent, and then a man from among the poor Muslims passed by, an Allah's Apostle asked (them) "What do you say about this man?"
They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand in marriage he does not deserve to be married, and he intercedes (for someone), his intercession should not be accepted; And if he speaks, he should not be listened to." Allah's Apostle corrected the companions and said,
"This poor man is better than so many of the first as filling the earth."
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3090, Narrated Abu Hurairah, r.a.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,
'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.' [Tirmidhi, Nasa'i and Ibn Majah]
As Muslims, we believe that Allah wants the best for us, and that His Prophet (saws) illustrated this through his own life. So note that by following the advise of our own Creator, and that of His beloved servant, we can only be successful.
Dua for bride and bridegroom
"O Allah, I ask You for the best of her and the best of what you have endowed her with. And I seek refuge in You from the worst of her and the worst of what You have endowed her with" Sunan Abu Dawud 2:248 #2160]
Note: The bride may also make the same prayer with respect to the bridegroom
The Importance of a good wife to her husband (and of course vice versa) is Great to Allah (SWT). Nothing can illustrate the point better than the Qur'anic statement which describes the righteous people as those who pray:
"Rabba-na hab la-na min azwaji-na wa dhuriyyati-na qurrata a'yunin wa aj'al-na li al muttaqin imama"
"Our Rabb! Make our Life Partners (spouse) and our Children to be the Comfort (joy) of our Eyes , and make us Leaders of the Righteous ...Sura 25 Al-Furqan Verse 74 Amen
May Allah help us in our sincere efforts in following His commandments and the way of His beloved servant Prophet Muhammad (SAW). May Allah bless you and give you the best reward of all your good works.