My Mother, Loving Parents in Islam

Hurting one's parents immensely (^uquq) is among the major sins. Allah threatened the one who does it with severe torture in Hellfire. This means to harm either or both parents immensely (causing them a lot of pain). Hurting one's parents is unlawful whether it is severe or light.

Among the examples of harming one's parents is to: curse, or insult them both or either one.

Among what is also considered unlawful is if the son obeys his mother in doing injustice to his father or vice versa. It does not benefit him if he obeyed his mother and yet harmed his father, because there should be no obedience to a human by disobeying Allah, the Creator. In summary, helping either parent in doing injustice to the other is sinful.

Allah, ta^ala said in the Qur'an:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا

Wa qada Rabbuka alla ta^budu illa iyyahu wa bil-walidayni ihsana. Imma yablughanna ^indakal-kibara ahaduhuma aw kilahuma fala taqul lahuma uffiw wala tanharhuma waqul lahuma qawlan karima.

Which means: {Allah orders not to worship except Him and to treat one's parents kindly. If one of them is alive and old or both are alive (and old), do not say "uff" to them and do not address them with harsh words. Be humble and compassionate and address them with nice and gentle words.}

Allah, ta^ala, made it unlawful to say to one's parents "uff ", which indicates one is bothered by them. Allah ordered one to say to one's parents a generous and gentle saying, more so when they are old. Also, Allah orders to speak to one's parents in a respectful manner.

The torture of one who hurts one's parents immensely: The torture of the one who hurts one's parents immensely is very great, to the extent that one will not be among the first people to enter Paradise. Rather, one will enter it after being tortured, if Allah did not forgive one; this is because it is among the major sins.

The Prophet, sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, said:

لاَ يَدْخُلُ الْجَنَّةَ عَاقٌّ

La yadkhulul-Jannata ^aqq.

Which means: "The one who harms one's parents immensely will not enter Paradise," i.e., this means that one is not among the first batch of people to enter Paradise. It does not mean that one is a blasphemer and will not be admitted to Paradise. (Narrated by al-Bukhariyy.)

The following are two ayahs from the Qur'an that encourage treating one's parents well:

Allah, ta^ala, said in the Qur'an:

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا

Wa wassaynal-insana biwalidayhi hamalat-hu ummuhu wahnan ^ala wahn, wa fisaluhu fi ^amayni anishkur li wa liwalidayka ilayyal-masir.

Ayah 14 of Surat Luqman means: {Allah urges one to treat one's parents nicely, for one's mother carries one in her womb with all the weakness that she receives from that, and she nurses one up to two years. Hence, one needs to be thankful to God and thankful to one's parents.}

Allah, ta^ala, also said:

وَاعْبُدُواْ اللّهَ وَلاَ تُشْرِكُواْ بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

Wa^budullaha wala tushriku bihi shay'aw wa bil-walidayni ihsana.

Which means: {Worship God without associating any partner to Him, and treat your parents in a good way.}

Know that no matter how much one was keen to perform the five prayers, to fast, and to perform similar acts of obedience, if one inflicts immense harm to one's parents by words or deeds, one will not be among the pious Muslims. So be careful to treat your parents right and be keen to avoid harming them.

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